Knowing Jesus

sharing my testimony of faith

What does Jesus mean to you? How have you come to know him? Perhaps, in your eyes, he’s a mythical figure you cannot quite comprehend.

An infant forever caught in your imagination as the helpless babe in the manger that decorates Christmas cards.

Or you might know Jesus as a miracle working great teacher and prophet, the Master/Rabboni whom the disciples revered and adored, but you don’t know what the fuss was all about.

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Maybe you know Jesus as the Messiah. Humble. Holy. Human. The Son of Man. The Son of God. The King of the Jews who was crucified on a cross, rose from the tomb, and lives forevermore as our ascended Saviour and Lord. Written about in Scripture. The fulfilment of hundreds of prophecies. Truth and Love personified.

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For people of faith, there is usually a time in our lives we can recall even if it came slowly, in stages, with pauses and doubt before belief set in. It’s the memorable moment when we gave our lives to Christ and came to know him personally for ourselves.

Before that event, the Holy Spirit had already been at work in our hearts, igniting our spirits with a desire for difference, opening our eyes to the way we had been living and our need of him.

As believers, we’re adopted sons and daughters, beloved children of God who have accepted the mercy and forgiveness he freely offers us.

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Here’s my story…

In the beginning

Coming from a dysfunctional, verbally combative, non-Christian family, my first inklings of faith stemmed from attending Salvation Army Sunday School where I loved to put stickers into books, sing songs, learn memory verses, and shake a tambourine.

We went for the simple reason that my parents wanted a quiet afternoon to themselves and a friendly neighbour kindly offered to take me and my twin sister there each week.

And, perhaps, also because my father had a believing Irish mother, listened to Jim Reeves’ records, including the popularised gospel songs, and might have had a vestige of faith in his heart.

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I had sung grace prayers before eating lunch at the pre-school nursery I attended, but this Sunday School was the first place where I actually heard about Jesus. My eyes were opened and a tiny seed of faith and hope got sown in my heart.

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Spiritual influences

My coming to faith journey continued with going to Brownies and Girl Guides, where faith-based promises were made and we all attended various services at a Church of England close to home.

After that I went astray, struggled with painful issues and entered dark places before I finally came to faith in Christ, aged seventeen.

It sparked as I listened, entranced, to a Christian pop group called Ishmael and Andy in the Sixth Form Common Room during a lunch break.

I was invited to attend a convention they were part of that was being held at Elim Pentecostal Church which was conveniently right across the street from the block of flats where I lived.

What drew me to faith was Love, pure Love, personified in Christ. An unconditional, unending, merciful love I’d never experienced before.

Such amazing Love made me fall to my knees before I stood up and wobbly-walked the altar-call-to-conversion aisle, urged on by a warm, gentle nudge inside.

The sin awareness came later. God knew I’d be crushed to have that first without prior knowledge of his acceptance and love, because I’d already grown up feeling worthless, prone to heavily criticising and condemning myself.

Before long, I joined my school’s Senior Christian Union and soon progressed to leading it with the support of a super-keen teacher who ran it.

She invited several guest speakers, one of which was hymn writer Graham Kendrick. He stayed to participate in school assembly the following morning, where I had the great privilege of introducing him.

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Different expressions of faith

I worshipped at the Pentecostal Church for a while, followed by a Baptist Church with my then boyfriend, and an Evangelical Church where I met my future husband in the Youth Group and got married to him.

It became our home church where we brought up our family and remained for decades. We still watch their services online on Sunday mornings.

However, over the years, I’ve become more interested and immersed in the contemplative tradition, the saints and mystics. And now I sense myself being strongly drawn toward Catholicism.

You might think I’m an unsettled soul who hasn’t yet found her true spiritual home, and that’s true to some extent. I’ve certainly experienced various expressions of faith over the years.

I believe God treats us as individuals and we’re all as varied as can be, so it makes sense that we know and experience him universally yet differently.

Underneath any denominational labels we might choose to align ourselves with, there is unity in being people of the cross, united by our faith in Christ, encompassed by the unchanging love of God for each and every one of us.

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What belonging to church means to me

My years of being unable to attend church services in person, due to worsening chronic illnesses, have given me an ecumenical approach to faith.

This has increased as I’ve read numerous books and articles, witnessed varied preaching and prayers, enjoyed close soul friendships, and found Christian fellowship online instead.

I find church everywhere, mostly rooted in my heart. A bond between other believers that has grown stronger over the years as God has provided spiritual friendship with soul sisters and brothers in Christ.

I’m grateful for the eclectic spiritual expressions of faith I’ve had because through them all I’ve grown to know Jesus better and have a greater understanding and appreciation for who he is and how the body of believers functions.

This poem expresses my gratitude for knowing Jesus…

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You came

You restore the years,
redeem the time that's lost to us
with your kairos heart.

You recognise the chains,
those that bind and hold us back
from yielding to your love.

You see the tears,
each one collected, treasured,
view them like our prayers.

You notice our pain
and walk beside us wounded ones,
removing all guilt and shame.

You hear our cries,
those inner longings we deny,
they are more than satisfied.

You call our names,
the old and new we will become
once surrendered to your grace.

You note our sighs,
the times we run out of words
but you listen and reply.

You visited, you came,
with your glory muted here,
our souls you have reclaimed.
© joylenton

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The Word became flesh and blood,

and moved into the neighborhood.

We saw the glory with our own eyes,

the one-of-a-kind glory,

like Father, like Son,

Generous inside and out,

true from start to finish.

— John 1:14 MSG

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What might it mean for you to have Jesus in the neighbourhood, and in your heart, dwelling there as Lord of Light and Love?

When we consider the excruciatingly painful crucifixion Jesus endured, how he overcame death, was resurrected to newness of life, and ascended back to the Father in glory, we realise how much it challenges us and impacts our lives for the good.

Let’s pause to remember the things Jesus has done for us since we came to faith and give him thanks and praise for the way our lives have been changed.

Prayer

Wonderful Saviour,

We are full of gratitude because you came to earth to live and die for us. Death could not hold you. You overcame its power and sting.

You have ascended to heaven and sit at the Father’s right hand, continually interceding on our behalf.

We are blessed to get to know you in our hearts, within the pages of Scripture, through prayer, and from the presence of the indwelling Holy Spirit.

We don’t have to see you to know you and love you, even as we look forward to the day when we will meet you face to face.

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You have become our Saviour, Shepherd, Lord and King, as well as our truest, most loving and faithful Friend.

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Jesus, however much we think we know you now, we’re thankful there is so much more waiting to be discovered. Such knowledge is fathomless.

May we never cease to be awed by the beauty of your character, your awesome grace and majesty, and all you continue to do for us each day.

May we turn our thankfulness into deep gratitude and praise, and remain faithful, surrendered followers, strengthened and sustained by your power, love and grace.

Amen

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